“到底什么是爱？ ” 正敏认真的问
“问你爸 他不是说爱我吗？ ”妈讽刺说
“他说我这样的努人一边爱他一边还会伤害他 ”
“每天一睁开眼就想不能再那么做了，每天早晨每天入睡之前
但是我做不到， 一看到你爸我就会伤害他，
我再怎么下决心再怎么爱他 我能给你爸的只有伤害
甚至我呆着不动也一样。 我的存在本身对你爸来说就是个伤害。
因为我们的开始就是个伤害。 ”
XXX
“没有了我， 你会活下去吗？ ” 锡洙冷冷的望着
“临死之前我会把我做错的事告诉你， 做错的事等那个时候再听， 可以提前原谅我吗？ ”
以奴人的直觉， 作家的洞察力， 舒英心里有了最坏的预感也不愿追问。
XXX
正敏缓缓推开紧急用的防火墙。 一只手快捷地搂着， 反面按贴着墙激 吻， 有种犯罪的快感。
“生气了吗？那么粗鲁。 ”
“那至少能让我在你面前抬头。 ”
Except from book, …He heard his father cry out -they had left the camera with his mother."All this way, and no picture," he’d said, shaking his head. He reached into his pocket and began to throw the striped stone into the water. "We will have to remember it, then." They looked around, at the gray and white town that glowed across the harbor. Then they started back again, for a while trying not to make an extra set of footsteps, inserting their shoes into theones they had just made. A wind had picked up, so strong that it forced them to stop now and them.
"Will you remember this day, Gogol?" his father had asked, turning back to look at him, his hands pressed like earmuffs to either side of his head.
"How long do I have to remember it?" Over the rise and fall of the wind, he could hear his father’s laughter. He was standing there, waiting for Gogol to catch up, putting out a hand as Gogol drew near.
"Try to remember it always," he said once Gogol had reached him, leading him slowly back across the backwater, to where his mother and Sonia stood waiting. "Remember that you and I made this journey, that we went together to a place where there was nowhere left to go."
This is my favorite part of the book where Gogol was his train back home and came across particular mise en scene that remind him of his late father. After his father sudden departs, he went on his own journey of rediscovery of the past memory of his dad. And little by little, he started to comprehend how it is like to lose someone that give him life as his father went through when he was young. There’s one part where his grandparent pass away, following Bengali tradition, siblings of the dead has to shave off their hair. When one day his dad came out from the washroom, he find it amusing to look at his father hairless for the first time. For that following month, his dad has to wear cap to work.
It is the one of the dreaded moment in a meeting, where Eminem ringtone start to rap. Phone display +6567708316. ‘Can I call you back? Great [HangUp]’, he replied briefly.
xxx
‘Hi, I am returning your call. May I know who’s calling?’, he greeted.
‘Hi. This is Helena from Emerson. I am calling in to see if you can come in for an interview next Wednesday’, she replied.
‘Sure, I would love to. Where are you located?’, he answered.
‘We are on Pandan Crescent, Near Clementi Station’, she replied.
‘Pandan Indah, I guess somewhere in Cheras. Is that right? (Wait, no, this is in Singapore)…Murmured…So Is it possible to put it on this week, says thurdays afternoon’, he asked.
‘OK, I can do that for you. Be here on Thurday 2.30 pm. I will forward the driving direction and information to you. See you then’, she ended.
xxx
He almost forgotten about it since the last time profile being changed. Preferred location-from Singapore, Malaysia to Malaysia only. By far this is the most prospective job being applied to. Thinking of give it a try.
xxx
8.15 am.
Waiting in queue to pickup Renew Passport at PKNS, Shah Alam. Now serving No. 1004, Holding on No. 1020. Great.
9 am.
Leaving Shah Alam.
1.30 pm.
‘Where’s your Autopass?’, Custom asked.
‘Sir, What is an Autopass and where can I get it?’, he asked.
‘Kali pertama ke?’, asked cynically looking at an amateur.
‘You go in to the front office and they should be able to help you’, (Does he know that he has been driving without stop from Shah Alam to reach here and only one hour away from the appointment.-Apparently)
2.45 pm.
Although late for 15 mins, yet he feel he has certainly accomplish the mission by bringing himself there without any miscalculation. That include park the car at the Boon Lay MRT Transit, wait for the non-existing 282 bus, finally catch on a cab at 2.30pm to reach 1 Pandan Crescent. Everything less than one hour in a foreign land. (Yeah, whatever, you only made it there).
2.30 am.
Woke up. Feeling sick by the fermented smell of wine through the throat. No idea how ended up in the room. Take off the jeans. Sleep on.
4.30 am.
Awakening by stomach growling. Need some warm soup or bak kut teh (selected recuperative diet) Let see whether the car is there. No. Alright. Maybe I can resort to ramen noodle, well, nah(Forgotten about the mushroom soup kept for emergency). Try to sleep on.
6.30 am.
Starving, tossing. Maybe they will open early. But what if not, then need to walk back on empty. Not sure capable of doing that. Guess not a risk-taker today. What happen after the last drink? How exactly to get out from there? Was it a knock out into state of unconscious. Not the slightest idea. Never been like that. Is it something you put in the water (lol… that’s a varsity summer joke, lame one).
7.05 am.
Looking for the favorite spot for kueh tiow soup. The one with lesser flavoring soup base with a topping of seaweed. Nope, they are not there yet. This time will relent to the second choice. People gave a subtle disbelief stare as if something on the face. Nope nothing wrong, just a messy hair with slow step. Watching obsolete kungfu movie on XingGuangDaDao in seven in the morning while eating. (How does that relates, whatever)
I still cannot finish it. Only the stuffed okra is nice, the rest are alright.
7.45 am.
Taking a walk in the neighbourhood. To increase the metabolisme so that new intake of fluid will dominate the liquor level. It’s own invented logic. Did four round-Not bad for a hangover. Still, aunties give me that look, for two round. Maybe because walking in leather sandal is not right or because of the punk look. How’s that? (Aunty you also got a pretty up-to-date perm where you get that? Maybe can consider when mine gets longer).
9.42 am.
Missed call from boss. Maybe to check out whether someone is still alive.
‘Morning, Are you OK now?’, boss chuckled.
‘Feels better after a meal. You? Have you eaten yet?’, he replied.
‘I am having it right now. I heard you look pretty bad last night so give you a call to find out. Yeah, why you look so skinny nowadays? You eat enough anot?’, boss asked.
‘I have been skinny all this while. Well, I did lost some seven lbs since got back…(murmur)’, he replied. Pass to Mrs. Teoh, Boss wife. ‘Alex, having drink is alright, but you have to know your limit? Especially when you need to entertain, to drive. Yes, also you look very skinny nowadays. Have to eat more, too skinny also not nice. Come over to my place for lunch or dinner, just let us know, OK, take care yourself OK, be good, be nice, OK’, Mrs. Teoh advised.
‘Yes, sure, certainly, definitely mdm, thanks’, he replied.
10.00 am.
‘Ms. Chiah, oh Did I wake you up’, said. ‘Yes, feeling sorry right. Are you right now? Last night you basically were the most drunk. Did you get enough? I guess you did not have enough and have too much drink instead. I think you also mix your drink with beer, liquor and wine’, Chiah replied. ‘I am so sorry if acting funny but I do not have any idea after the second toast from Mr. Teoh and Mr. Fong. My memory up to yesterday 2.30 pm only (analoguos to memory loss or erasure. Or maybe just doze off and sleep peacely which explain the nonexist),’ said. ‘Well, there another one coming up, you gotta behave this time. Ah Sang is the one sending you home, you ask him la’.
11.00 am.
Ah Sang calling. ‘Hey, How are you? Having enough of rest. Your car is still at that place. I will come over to take you to your car during lunch and having lunch together. OK?’
‘Ok ah. (not so worried about car). I heard you were very steady last night. Damn you can drink. So tell la what happen yesterday?’, he asked.
‘Tell you the detail during lunch’, he replied with grin.
12.20pm.
‘Alex last night you throw up in my car, wah lau ye. Somemore hugging and harassing the girls, somemore puke at the dining table. I remember you even puke in front of the host’s parent during the wine chicken was served. Then, brought you to toilet for the second stick, almost all you ate for the month were out. Can remember anot? Put you into the car, you start to growling, lucky me open the car fast fast at the roadside. This part can remember anot? ’, Ah Sang said.
‘I remember only up to second toast up to 2.30 pm onni after I think I am no different than sleeping. Correct? Oh no, Need to call up the girls, freak people out. I cannot remember you bring me out to roadside. I think I onni have one stick yesterday’, he replied.
Vincent did record some video yesterday. First one is Yip with head down on the table. Then someone came over with drink woke up Yip. Complacent with smile, gulped down another one. Who’s that someone, so bad? Second is Grace trying to grab the camera. Third is this auteur. Look like a lala zai drink one beer after another. Standing up, pointing and shouting. Looking at the camera, gesture with joy. Oh my god. No idea.
One of the features I enjoy the most about this movie is the satirical content exhibit through the dialogue of the character. It always makes the audience laugh contemptuously at Carolyn motivational slogan, Lester’s caustic remarks, other’s character idiosyncrasies and hypocrisy.
This is the second time viewing American Beauty and it gave me a thought about the existence of several people in the movie. Mrs. Pitt was always in her own world but still can consciously notice after being ‘awaken’. Otherwise she remains static in her own world that does not seems very happy from her grave expression and psychotic reaction during they were watching a family movie. On the other hand, the existence of family for Burham has not other significance rather than keeping everything normal as other is doing. It seems to me the whole course of the movie was a series of terrorizing the physical bond that still exist among the family member even though Lester did try to be romantic to his wife, Lester try to talk to her daughter, if it not too bogus sometime.
Besides that, Rick is like the outsider in the neighbourhood that able to transcend the worldly event and only capture the most beautiful moments, at least to him. He is able to transcend the military culture in the family and pursue his passion about making video if not to mention the issue of legality in obtaining the money. He is able to transcend the teen age insecurity, sexual curiousity, peer pressure and to perceive his own belief which he thinks that is the truth. One of the remark that he made, “…It’s like God looking at you for a second, And if you are careful you look back”.
posted on 2005-03-03 13:13:53
If zooming is an option in this film, I would used it in a these two scenes.
First sequence is two guys talking amicably. Yet, one of them was fumbling the other pocket for wallets. Make a moderately fast zoom in the hand, at the same time, it will be matched cut with a two shot of these men. These will gave a magnifying effects of the original message which says the city are occupied by these swindlers, hypocrites.
Second sequence is when the wardrobe men were repeatedly rejected by the city people. They reluctantly move their property again in looking for a place that could possibly accommodate them. As they move away from the city, from a subjective camera view, zoom out slowly from the shot of the city to give a suggestion of dejected and despair.
posted on 2005-03-03 13:20:41
One of the interesting semi-narrated films is Breathless by Jean Luc Godard in 1960. Under the influence of the American movie making, Godard adopted the attitude of spontaneity and experimentation. In this movie, he had casually use either voice over or sound throughout the movie.
Narration was essential in the whole movie because the plot is not sequential. One of the paradox of this movie is that some of the critic corroborate this movie as a documentary since it does not have a centralized plot as opposed to his contemporary while making a movie. It could be this fact that have made narration more essential if not necessary.
Narration was one of the technique of the auteur to exactly express what he intend. One the possible reason he choose to use narration is because he constantly insert quotes of politicians and philosopher. Some of the Godard critic articulated that Godard is more of a politician moviemaker than an artistic moviemaker. So if this posit is correct, then he have convincingly using a more powerful form of communication to convey his political ideals, philosophy or literary to his audience. Some of the instance of the quote that he had used before are “We are dead men on leave." Lenin in Pierrout Le Fou. Also in this particular movie Breathless, there is one quote that says "It’s sad to fall asleep. It separates people. Even when you’re sleeping together, you’re all alone."
posted on 2005-03-03 13:22:06
My first response to the question of Rosebud at the beginning of the film was it is indeed a mystery to be revealed by the end the movie. Only I am left with one chair embroidered with Rosebud which I found out that it is Kane’s childhood snow sled instead after I read a critic.
Or if it follows the conventional logic of plot; a man’s last word could be a long-lost unrequited lover, a beloved pet that remains regret until the very last breath of Kane. Nevertheless, Citizen Kane could be distinguished from the ordinary of the mystery movie because of its cinematography, its editing, manipulation of sounds that was not conventional during its contemporary. Therefore, this fact is not very possible to be established.
Also, investigator Thompson made his assertion at the end of the movie that he did not believed that one word could explain everything. Kane had owned all man could have want, and lost them all. Rosebud maybe something that he want or something that he lose. Anyway, a single word would not be enough to explain a man’s life. He asserted that Rosebud could be just like a jigsaw puzzle-a missing piece. I do not agree with this simply because I believed Welle was trying to convey the message from different point of views and this was a point of view of an investigator.
Interestingly, Kane have mentioned the words twice in the movie; once was during his violent action wrecking everything in Susan’s room after she left, at one point he was momentarily absorbed looking on a glass ball and mentioned the word for the first time. One of the critic explained that the glass ball that resembled his memory of his childhood. They postulated that Kane regretted that he did not lead a simple life when he was a kid. In my opinion, Kane have success in life due to his persistency and charisma as a leader. On the other hand, he was an incorrigible man that never changes his principles at the other end. He had chosen Susan Alexander over his political life in the face of his opponent; he was working all odd to put ill-skilled Susan Alexander on stage. Those are the parody that reflected his mistakes in life in contrast with his witty remark in political campaign, his leadership in the company. He presumed that he never regretted any of these deeds. However, Susan, the woman that he was proud of rather than in love with, left him with his lonesome castle. This was the first time he regretted his deeds. It was too late and everything left with him seems ridiculously huge, meaningless and cold.
In short, I believe the auteur intention was to portray the life of the richest man in the world with an insight into his character, love, and death. The protagonist can be the richest man in the world but he could not as poor as old person that have never love.
posted 2005-03-03 13:25:24
